So how do we feel about open adoption? Great! We love it! But learning about and understanding open adoption has been a gradual and important process...
At first, we were both anxious about open adoption. Brandon was uncomfortable with the idea because he has never had a desire to know his own biological father (he is half adopted). Elise was worried an open adoption might undermine both of them as parents.
Things changed over time. As we were waiting to be selected by a birth mother, we grew more and more open to the idea of an open adoption. Mostly it was because that was the norm, and because we would have done anything for the parent of our future child because of our gratitude. And, of course, because of the fantastic firesides and networking provided by LDS Family Services.
Then we met K. K is baby Cadence's birth mom and one of our favorite people in the world! We love and adore K. After first meeting K and going through the adoption process with her, we were completely converted. We loved getting to know K and looked forward excitedly to the emails from her and meeting with her! K became a part of our family and we truly love her. We want her to be as involved in Cadence's life (and our lives) as she wants to be, and we want Cadence to know all about her birth-mom. Cadence's birth mom is one of our heroes and we want our little girl to know how much we love and admire her. We can't imagine a world or a life without K in it.
So in the end... we really love open adoption. We want the birth parents of our children to be as much a part of their lives as they want to be--whether that is not very much or a lot. With K, we talk often and send her pictures, letters, and packages all the time. When we go visit the area she lives (about 3 hours from us), we often get together with her, and we invite her to come to things here (like Cadence's first birthday party!). We love to see K and we're always excited for her to see Cadence!
Because we love our birth mom as a part of our family--as we would any future birth parent--we truly want the adoption's openness to be what you want it to be. If that means you don't want any contact afterward, that is okay with us. But if you do want to see your precious little child grow up in pictures, letters, or even visits, that is great too! We will love and respect any decision of yours as we would any other member of our family. More than anything, we are so excited to get to know you!
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